The Shadow Proves the Sunshine...

I (Matt) was thinking about this song today...why it keeps playing in my head lately. It's a song by a band, Switchfoot, which is one of many songs on an iPod playlist I created a while back titled, “For Matthew...” There are probably 40-50 songs on it - all of which make me think of my little boy for one reason or another. Since Ella's arrival, this particular one keeps playing in my head and has resonated with me even more.

For me, it's a song that brings up an array of emotions – and while I'm still trying to understand the lyrics, to me it seems to be a contrast of light and darkness and how we exist in both; dealing with what this world offers us and how we know it is not the way God intended it to be. In a way it is heartbreaking, but in another it makes me realize that when I am focusing on the shadows of my life that all it takes is to turn 180 degrees to see there is a bright sun shining on me. It speaks to me about my Matthew...and now, too, my Ella.

Sunshine won't you be my mother
Sunshine come and help me sing
My heart is darker than these oceans
My heart is frozen underneath

We are crooked souls trying to stay up straight
Dry eyes in the pouring rain
The shadow proves the sunshine
The shadow proves the sunshine

Two scared little runaways
Hold fast till the break of daylight where
The shadow proves the sunshine
The shadow proves the sunshine

Oh, Lord why did you forsake me
Oh, Lord don't be far away, away
Storm clouds gathering beside me
Please Lord don't look the other way

I'm a crooked soul trying to stay up straight
Dry eyes in the pouring rain where
The shadow proves the sunshine
The shadow proves the sunshine

Yeah shine on me
...
...

If you're scared don't run away
Hold fast to the break of daylight now
The shadow proves the sunshine
The shadow proves the sunshine
...

Shine on me
Let my shadows prove the sunshine

8 weeks...

Well, the little one will be 8 weeks old tomorrow and grows bigger everyday - we put her in her moses basket to take a nap yesterday and was amazed at how she is close to not fitting anymore!

We have almost gotten her schedule down but she often gets this wild-eyed, crazed look at about 6 PM and wants to stay awake until 10 PM or so - she is getting better, though. Her nighttime feeding/sleep schedule is good - 10:30 PM, 2:30 AM, and 6:30 AM. Robin takes the first two and I the last to allow Robin a little rest in the mornings. Ella sleeps through the 2:30 AM feeding so it isn't terrible (easy for me to say!) and is awake and very happy at 6:30 or so. It makes it fun to take that feeding becuase she has really started smiling a lot and just stares and smiles at me - I am convinced she has laughed a couple of times, too!

Some recent photos: